I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how we connect with other people. I am one of those who, for whatever reason (and I can think of a few), takes a very long time to let someone in and trust them enough to share my innermost thoughts and feelings. There are really just a few people with whom I could be comfortable talking about things that are really important to me. I'm really grateful to have those people. I may not talk to them very often, but everytime I do, I go away feeling energized. It's almost like I've taken an upper. Note that I've never actually taken an upper, so I'm really just guessing. I'm equally energized when I know they've shared part of themselves with me, in case you were starting to think that I just like to talk about myself. In fact, having someone share their secrets with you makes you feel trusted, loved and secure, so it's an even better feeling when it happens.
More and more I'm finding that the conversations I'm having with people are vacuous. I don't know if it's because I'm always half distracted by one or the other child, or whether I'm getting generally worse at letting myself connect with people, but it's something that is starting to bother me. Why do we hold back what we're feeling and thinking? Everyone does it to a certain extent (some more than others). A few times in the past couple of weeks I've really concentrated on connecting with someone. I listen to what they have to say, and try to imagine how they're feeling. I wait for and respond to their cues, and ask what I think are the right questions. The result is quite remarkable. You can actually feel the relationship quickly transforming into something a bit different...and better. I plan to do it more often, though I think it takes practice and it certainly takes time and energy.
Just so you know I'm not losing my mind, next time you're having a conversation with someone, notice whether they're really connecting with you and you with them. My bet is that 95% of the time, it ain't happening. It's a shame isn't it?
Simon and I are off to sunny Santa Barbara, California in January. I can't wait, though I'm sure when the time draws near I'll be in a complete panic about transporting a baby across the continent, particularly one who will need bottles at the ready, baby food just so, and won't be too happy about a time change. Oh well, for a few days of sunshine, I'm sure it will all be worthwhile. Besides, Granny and Poppa will be there to help along the way (thanks for inviting me along!!!).
Now, the quest is on to fast track Simon's birth certificate and passport. If I can show them a plane reservation, I should be able to get things moving (or so they say on their website...keep those fingers crossed folks!).
